Found the folder again going through scans for something else entirely, usual mess, and theres a page in there I did not write. green ink, arrows, pointing at my own finger across two separate photos of the swelling, and I remember the swelling, I was there for the swelling, but I do not remember anybody drawing arrows on it after the fact and I sure as hell didnt write the paragraph of notes sitting next to it because that paragraph isnt in english. little marks over some of the letters I dont use, never have, I dont write in anything but english, and its sitting right there annotating my own hand like it belongs in my own stack. same finger both times, same swelling, somebody circled the worst part in green and left a column of cursive I cant read one word of.

I keep coming back to the proximity because the proximity is the whole point. the photos of the swelling ARE mine, I remember taking them, I know my own flash blowout when I see it, I know my own bathroom tile in the background. the third photo in the stack, the bandaged one, I dont fully place, and the fourth one, off to the side, is somebody's fingers holding a white pill I have never in my life been prescribed, and that page got filed into my own folder by somebody who had access to my own folder. typed that sentence four times now and it still doesnt sit right going down. (the truck gets a whole page here, the camera that never clears gets a whole page, the mirrored spine film gets a whole page, somebody filing a foreign-language comparison note on my own injured hand goes right under all of that, same archive, no separate folder, because its the same them doing it, always the same them, I have never once believed this was two groups.)

the swelling went down weeks ago. thats the part I keep checking, is the finger the same now, no, its healed, which means whoever annotated those photos wasnt logging the injury. they were logging ME having it looked at, logging the pill, logging the handwriting of whoever gave it to me maybe, I dont know whose hand that cursive is and Im not going to pretend I do. people who havent sat with a page like this dont get why thats the part that sticks so Ill leave the sentence as flat as I can get it: SOMEBODY KEPT A FILE ON HOW MY OWN HAND GOT BETTER. anyway. I dont do curses, dont do hexes, somebody wrote in last month asking if this was a spell and no, a spell doesnt leave handwriting you can hold up to a window and compare the paper stock on. this is paper. this is ink. this is a pill I never asked for, in a stack with my own photos, with notes in a language I dont speak standing right next to it like that explains anything.

went and found the finger scar again just now writing this, had to be close to midnight, no later than that, porch light was already out by the time I checked so past one probably. still cant read the accented word over the a. still dont know whose pill that was.